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Feeling very upset

436 Posts

Posted:  26-Jul-2017 20:08
I'm moving (if it ever happens!) and so handed in my notice giving them a month. I've worked for 3 years as the lead in my area and last 18 months lead across two sites - at times being only nurse doing my subject. I've taught other nurses, GPs, brought research to the practice and have spent hours making sure all patients are managed correctly which often has resulted in the GPs coming to me for advice. In 3 years every request for further training has been refused. I've even offered to come in before my move and do extra training and support for the nurses taking over as they have very limited experience. We have a higher than average number on our registers and even the research team say they don't know how I managed it. I was proud of what I had built up yet the PM doesn't seem bothered.

Today was my last day at one of the surgeries and only my friend the lead nurse said goodbye. Only one GP has said they will really miss me. Last day Monday at the other surgery but don't envisage anything yet when some registrar GPs left recently we were all asked to contribute to a present etc. I feel lowest of the low - why do we bloody bother. I only got a pay rise as I found out by chance I was being paid the same as someone just started CDM yet I've got qualifications, done all my updates in my own time and at my own expense with over 6 years as lead. At this moment can't even be angry just hate this job

2 Posts

Posted:  26-Jul-2017 20:53
Nurses are undervalued full stop. As soon as one leaves another steps in.
It sounds like you were not valued by the trust you worked for or by your colleagues.
Lesson: don't try to fix and rescue your colleagues feather your own nest .
They rely on individuals like you who go above and beyond with no thanks. Yet a CEO could come into a trust destroy it and leave with a baby grand piona ( when the trust has no money) . We live in a shallow world.
Good luck in your new adventure.
I value your skills and admire you for all that you have done.

1442 Posts

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Posted:  26-Jul-2017 21:02
Omg! Holi that is so awful! Really hope the other surgery can make up for it! Whilst people can be considered "the new girl " for a while in surgeries where teams tend to have less changes you certainly have put the work in! Makes you hope they will realise what they are missing doesn't it, when things don't magically happen as they did when you were there! Especially rotten as you are only leaving because you have moved, not just gone to another local surgery  ! 
Crossed fingers that your new employer gives you more support and respect heart
I think , if they are not paying you for training the new staff you should probably find yourself too busy to attend 

Faith x
Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.

1406 Posts

Posted:  26-Jul-2017 21:22
Holi that is awful,i am sure they will miss you when you have gone too late then xx i had a job in a school for 2 years and left to go back to nursing, the job was only supposed to be for one month, my last day not even a card from the children and only 2 people said good bye.
Also as you have posted on a facebook page, people can see who you are, so any previous posts you have made on here people can work out who you are. xxx


11752 Posts

Posted:  26-Jul-2017 23:17
Hopefully you will get a more satisfying send off on next last day. Good luck with whatever you are doing next?

Please be informed that the above is the opinion of the author and is in no way meant to be taken as instruction.

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436 Posts

Posted:  27-Jul-2017 06:33
Thanks all - no wonder we all give up nursing and its getting worse

390 Posts

Posted:  27-Jul-2017 07:53
Hi Holi.  Galling isn't it?  You're not alone unfortunately.  Although others may try and tell us otherwise, I feel that this happens in the majority of surgeries. Is it any wonder there is a recruitment and attrition crisis in Practice Nursing?  It's not because Nurses are reaching retirement age, it's because they are royally peed off and feel unappreciated and undervalued.  We can appreciate how hard you've worked and how much you've given to the practice and I think you deserve a bloody medal .... a holiday in the Maldives ..... Oh and a vat of Champagne!!!winkheart

346 Posts

Posted:  27-Jul-2017 09:17 Log in to like this post
I think everyone these days is so in their "personal little bubble" at work that they often can't see beyond their own role or the person sitting next to them. The work loads for everyone is so intense and relentless that I think a lot of people just go to work, get the job done, assume others are doing their job and go home again. I know I have been guilty of that but then again have always tried to ensure colleagues leaving anywhere have a nice send off and always have sent my own card of thanks to someone I have worked with in the past.
When I first began practice nursing back in the 90's so much of our training was quite easily funded by drug companies (yes I know not always ideal and often biased but gosh it helped!) I remember getting part of my asthma diploma at Stratford 3/4 funded by a drug company at the time. I can not recall the last time I didn't pay for my own training and updates. Self funded everything including my diabetes course and many others. Also had to update in my own time on days off  or attending weekend courses etc. Sometimes places of work allowed me to take back that time in lieu but very rarely. 
I am sure they will miss you when you are gone and they actually realise how indispensible you really were, especially when someone new comes in to the post and things will not work in the same way nor as efficiently. 
I have worked in many different places during my nursing career and normally only stay in one place for a maximum of about 3-4 years. I would say that only two places in that time gave me a nice send off (probably delighted to get rid of me!) no seriously, one or two places had me literally sneaking out the back door when I realised that there was not going to be any kind of leaving "thing" for me on my last day nor a thanks for what I had done. 
Take with you the memories of the good times and the work you did for your patients. Forget the people you worked with. You made a difference and that is something to be enormously proud of. Good luck as well with your move! xx

2484 Posts

Posted:  27-Jul-2017 22:17 Log in to like this post
Really shocking Holi - look forward and not back. I'm sure your patients appreciated you even if your colleagues couldn't be bothered. 

I'd rather be knitting!

436 Posts

Posted:  28-Jul-2017 06:09 Log in to like this post
Misstickel I think you have got it in one about their bubble. The doctors are constantly banging on about their tough time and money problems, the PM thinks only of goodness knows what, the admin staff are near screaming point and if you ask anything you get a brusque reply and its even really amongst the nurses it's about self. We used to have quite a good team ethos where I last worked but I've found that lacking here a bit. I'm amazed that some nursing colleagues are surprised if I take a patient off their list if I have a gap and they are running late. Seems many wouldn't think of it as they only do what they have to do. We find out doctors are leaving by chance from a receptionist - that sort of thing. My friend runs a small unit in the hospital and she's brilliant at getting them as a team. If there's any hint of upset (or even not) once every 6 weeks it's team outing down the pub to talk it all through. If you haven't a team work can be very lonely and I know some days I barely speak to anyone apart from the patients and I feel it's getting worse.

58 Posts

Posted:  31-Jul-2017 07:09 Log in to like this post
Oh dear- unfortunately i agree with all your comments! Things are changing so quickly in GP Land, and not for the better. Been in General Practice for 20 years and it was so lovely until last few years or so- going downhill rapidly- counting the months until i retire. As has been said, everyone in their own little bubble, doing their role as best they can until they can get out of the door! Some little clickey friendship groups who are all over each other out of work as well as in and bitch behind people's backs but most just 'keep their heads down', including the GP's! Don't expect or want any fuss when i leave, will just be glad to turn my back on it all and will keep it touch with those genuine people- have seen it happen too often! You are soon forgotten when you walk out of the door! There is a life outside of GP Land with less stress and where you are better thought of!


33 Posts

Posted:  31-Jul-2017 10:10 Log in to like this post
I had exactly the same!! Made me feel so unwanted!! Worked my guts out for that practice!! Made me glad I was leaving as I finally saw what they all thought of me!! The only "up" to my final day was the cards & little presents I had from patients!! I was shocked st the amount of cards I had from them along with the flowers, chocolates etc. At least the patients thought of me and would miss me - but that really did break my heart!!!

40 Posts

Posted:  31-Jul-2017 10:40 Log in to like this post
Sorry to hear this Holi , i feel gutted for you and quite understand, its their loss, it seems to me that we are living in different times, as nurses i feel we get litte respect or acknowlegement and yet  as nurses we have come a long way some of us are pescribers, nurse leads, independent  in our right. Yet still the respect and value of what it is to be a nurse is gone. I will say to you well done, and to fingers up to them !!! good luck in the future from one nurse to another .

436 Posts

Posted:  31-Jul-2017 16:47
well I was right - last day today at other surgery and nothing at all. PM on holiday - nothing. Had offered to come back next month to give some teaching but not sure now

50 Posts

Posted:  31-Jul-2017 19:18
I'm so sorry to hear that holiday. I can't add anything that hasn't already been said. Nursing is different now - everyone in their own little bubble as Misti Kyle said.
Makes me realise how vital it is that we nurses give some extra thought and kindness to our colleagues working down the corridor, behind closed doors.
It's not fair holi and many of us have been there. I appreciate you as do the people who matter appreciate you - your patients who you have improved practice for in the future . Have a glass of wine and feel good about yourself x
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50 Posts

Posted:  31-Jul-2017 19:20
* misstickle
iPhone App Posted on my iPhone

20 Posts

Posted:  31-Jul-2017 21:42
It's so horrible to feel the way you have been made to feel. I totally understand where you're coming from. I worked for my Practice for 18 years before I became unwell and was medically retired. Not one card and not one Doctor said goodbye. I had been there longer than all of them except one. Just goes to show what they actually do think of you.

436 Posts

Posted:  01-Aug-2017 06:39
Thank you all for your kind words but I am shocked at how we are all treated. My husband is a hospital doctor and he too is shocked and feels, like me, people would not act like his in hospitals. I suppose there you work together against the management whereas in primary care we just divide - minimal communication at times, cliques developing, favouritism with different nurses getting different things and the perennial issue of different pay. Perhaps if we all had AfC it would be a start in bringing us together as a team??

3232 Posts

Posted:  01-Aug-2017 10:41 Log in to like this post
Where are you moving too? Do you need a job? Willow


436 Posts

Posted:  01-Aug-2017 13:46
Thanks willow - .moving to east Sussex but might wait a few months. Depends if anything is offered
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